• Have you noticed since everyone has a video recorder on their phones these days that no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now, the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
  • Dream more while you are awake.


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